Anxiety is affecting my life & relationships! How do I manage it?

q u e s t i o n: First, after reading the articles on your blog I feel like you are speaking directly to me! So many of your perspectives and life experiences feel so similar to mine. 

I also suffer from mild anxiety so I appreciate you opening up about that part of your life. I have a two part question that I was hoping you could provide me some guidance with!

1. I am currently completing my Masters, working full-time, and planning a wedding while trying to balance my personal life...and I am not succeeding. My anxiety has been at an all time high. I have done everything: natural medicine, counseling, massages etc.

So I guess my question is, what are your go to strategies to decrease your anxious feelings? Right now I feel like I am in a pit with everything and can't find joy in a lot of things I do because of my anxiety.

2. A question that's probably linked to my anxiety...I am in a group of three BBFs (me plus two girls). We have been very close for 10 years. Lately, I have been feeling really disconnected from them. Since my life is so busy I have serious FOMO and feel as they are growing closer as I grow further apart.

I feel like one of the girls doesn't even really care what is going on in my life even when I ask her multiple questions and provide support regarding her life. I feel obligated to have them as bridesmaids in my wedding even though I am unsure about it. Overall, I have so many conflicted thoughts. I love them both but right now it feels like the relationships are causing more anxiety then making me happy. Any thoughts or advice for this situation?

Thanks SO much Jen!


Thanks for reaching out... hmm lets see.

"I can't find joy in a lot of things I do because of my anxiety"- you say.

If you tell yourself this, you will start to believe that the anxiety has control, and it shouldn't. You are completely in control! Do not blame your anxiety, as that's giving it more power, instead... blame your thoughts about it. 

I know my hormones play a huge role in my anxiety, as they may in yours, too... but my thought patterns and perspective are what dictates how bad it can be. If I start focusing on my anxiety, and focusing on anything negative going on in my life, I start to notice a shift towards that downwards spiral.

The key is to pick yourself right back up if you feel like your in a slump… don't allow yourself to stay down there!

Yes this may sound cheesy, but don't underestimate the power of a positive perspective. When you wake up every morning, fill your mind with gratefulness. List out 5 things your grateful for, and don't let the negative thoughts come to play at any point. If they do, divert them to something positive.

What you think, you become.

When you're feeling a little extra anxious, and trust me I have days where I want to crawl out of my skin, resort back to relaxing activities: meditate, attend a yoga class, book a relaxing massage, use essentials oils (I put lavender on my wrists), drink chamomile tea, limit caffeine, sauna, get your cardio in! 

Anxiety is something we may always have to deal with to a certain extent, and that's OK… use it as fuel to learn how to control your thoughts and manage your feelings.

Don't ever let it define or control you.

As far as your friends go… if they are growing closer, I guess you have to ask yourself why that matters so much to you? I would try your best to not focus on their relationship, and just focus solely on your relationship with them individually. Worrying that "they are getting closer" and you are getting fomo is just your ego talking :)

BUT I'm very familiar with that feeling, whenever some of my friends hang out without me I'm like WTF!? Rude! ha. but you just have to stay in your own lane, and know it's obviously OK if they get closer. That's life. People will change, go in different directions... and relationships will strengthen and even fall a part over the years. You just have to prioritize and decide who's worth riding it out with. 

Best of luck with everything going on! 

Pour yourself a glass of wine ;)

-jen x

A Few of My Anxiety Buster's:

Disclaimer: As always, my written words here are solely my opinion! Please consult with your doctor before making any changes to your health routine:)