In A Slump? Here are 7 steps to get you out of it.
Recently I got an email from a Lifestyler that went a little something like this:
I'm 27 years old... I'm not where I want to be financially, I'm physically out of shape and I'm single with no guys on the radar. I'm generally a happy person, but everything about my life right now just isn't ideal and I'm feeling down all the time. How do I get out of this slump!?
Want things to start looking up? Quite simply: change your perspective.
I'm a firm believer in the power of positivity and the law of attraction. You tend to attract more of what you focus on. So if you're focusing on everything that's going wrong in your life, then you may find yourself in a "downwards spiral" and every area of your life feels like it's crumbling.
Here's the thing to realize... EVERYONE has the ability to be sad & depressed.
Everyone has shit going on in their lives that they can choose to focus on... no-ones life is perfect! Everyone can improve themselves, their circumstances, their health, their relationships. Everyone has to deal with curveballs and situations that are simply out of their control.
I'll repeat: no ones life is perfect.
If you feel like you're knocked on your ass, here are a few tips to get you up off the ground:
1. Leave the pity party & victim mentality: feeling sorry for yourself, or getting sympathy from others isn't going to make you feel better. Seeking advice like you're doing is one thing, but if you're sitting around wallowing in pity, it's going to be very hard to implement positive change. Get out of those sweats, dust off the negativity and take responsibility for YOUR life.
2. Stop focusing on everything that's going wrong: I repeat, stop fixating on everything that's going "wrong" in your life and start putting energy towards all that you have going for you. Where focus goes, energy flows. Lets say there's a situation in your life right now that is out of your control, ex: a sick family member. Is thinking about it often, which causes you to be sad, going to do you any good? Are your negative thoughts about it going to heal that person? No. Instead, accept the difficult situation... and think of it as one of lifes curveballs to help you grow stronger, a way for you to strengthen your relationship with that family member. Find a good and positive perspective in every situation.
3. Envision a brighter future: create a vision board! Pinterest or an old school poster board, whatever you choose... gather together a visual of all your dreams and aspirations. Want a better job? A boyfriend? A trip to the Maldives? Abs? Anything and everything you want, put it all on there. Look at it daily. Pray about it. Think about it often. Work towards it. Like I said before, I'm a FIRM believer in the law of attraction... what you put out into the universe is more powerful than you think. Focus on all the wonderful things in life, on everything you could have... and you'll start to see windows of opportunity opening up. Again, where focus goes, energy flows.
4. Gratitude: nothing can stop negativity in it's tracks quite like a grateful thought. Every morning, take out a pen and piece of paper, or just a mental notepad... and list 5 things you're grateful for. Family, a friendly colleague, a comfy bed, a roof over your head, a good book. Anything that's pleasant, loving, happy, supportive, positive... think about that list often. For every negative thought that comes to you about something you don't have, replace it with a gracious thought of something you do have and are thankful for.
5. Don't compare your life to anyone else's: ... and societal standards? f*ck those. Everyone is on their own journey and going through life at different paces. Oh and social media? Instagram is simply a glorified, highlighted reel of things that people want you to see. What you tend to not see on there? All the not-so-pretty "un-ideals" in peoples lives that they prefer to keep to themselves... which is fine, but know that they certainly still exist. It's OK to look at social media accounts that inspire you or motivate you, but never allow the appearance of someone elses life to dampen your self esteem.
6. Take action- Unhappy with your weight? Thinking and complaining about how much you resemble a busted can of biscuits, and how unhealthy you feel isn't going to do anything for you. Instead, take note of what you don't like about your life, about what you might need to change... and take the steps needed to change it. No-one is going to change your lifes situations for you. Get to work.
7. Put yourself first: some may think this is selfish, but it's the furthest thing from it. If you're struggling to love yourself, it'll quickly and negatively affect everyone and everything in your life. And when you're loving yourself, everyone benefits! So surround yourself with uplifting people. Feed your body nutritional foods. Feed your mind with self-help books, blogs, podcasts. Find a workout class you love. Focus on your good qualities. Let go of what you can't control. Book a spa day for no other reason but to look & feel amazing. Gravitate towards love.
It's very normal to feel down from time to time. I've been there... I can actually be there right this second if I shift my attention to the "un-ideals" in my life right now. I'm an extremely positive, happy person but as soon as I start getting a negative perspective on things... boy it spirals to that slump real quick. Stay there long enough to acknowledge your feelings, accept them... but then use them as fuel to change what needs to be changed to get your life back on track. To feel good about yourself. It's completely up to you how long you stay in that rut!
Do you have to wait until your "circumstances" are better in order to be happy? Of course not.
Happiness is your responsibility and no one or anything else's.
Your job, relationship status, health, etc... should not define your happiness. If outside circumstances are what your happiness stems from, you're looking at a rough and depressing road ahead, because it's only a matter of time before they are taken from you. Everything is temporary and the only thing that's constant is change:
Everything going wrong today? It'll pass.
Everything going right today? This too, will pass.
This is why learning how to cope and deal with lifes waves in a healthy way is crucial to your happiness.
Stay firmly grounded within yourself, with who you are as a person, with what really matters in life: family, love, compassion, kindness. Work hard every day towards what you love. Stay kind, stay appreciative, stay positive... and don't take anything too seriously. Life realllyyy isn't as bad as we make it out in our crazy heads to be.
You'll be out of this rut as soon as you allow yourself. ;)